


the girl of shadow

by rudderless in an ocean of stars (indelibly_ellie)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is my sweet smol bean and i love her so much, Angst, Feels, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 04:27:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8475310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indelibly_ellie/pseuds/rudderless%20in%20an%20ocean%20of%20stars
Summary: Alex Danvers has dedicated her whole life to protecting her sister, and she would do it all again in a heartbeat.She's just not sure who she would do it for.Inspired by For The Girl Who Has Everything | 500 word Alex angst challenge





	

The sky is blue, grass is green, and Alex Danvers loves her sister. These are facts.

 

Alex has dark hair, dark eyes, and a dark envy that threatens to swallow her whole from the inside out. These are also facts.

 

Alex Danvers has dedicated her whole life to protecting her sister, and she would do it all again in a heartbeat. 

 

She's just not sure who she would do it for.

 

For Kara, the girl of steel with a heart of gold who had lost more in her life that Alex ever will? To keep her safe? To make her happy? To grant her some semblance of a normal life in this unforgiving world?

 

For herself, the girl of shadow who had been cast to the side like something _broken_ and _unwanted_ the moment that Kara zor-El arrived? To make her feel as though, perhaps, she is second-best by _choice_? To pretend that she makes her home in the dark corners untouched by Kara's life because she _wants_ to? To make herself feel better because even though she will always be second in Eliza's eyes, she will always, _always_ , be first in Kara's heart?

 

For Eliza, the mother whom she used to think was merely incapable of love altogether until she saw her take Kara into her arms, into her _heart_ , in ways she had never reached for Alex? To make herself a niche that Kara can never fill, to protect the girl who thought of protecting everyone _but_ herself?

 

For Jeremiah, the father who had martyred himself without a thought for his own safety for not one, but two people he'd barely met and barely knew?

 

_She doesn't know._

 

Every choice, every action, every scar- they've grown to define her, and all of it in Kara's name.

 

She's glad of this, because without them, she's not sure if she's worth definition.

 

She doesn't know if there's anything beneath this role that she has carved out for herself ~~agent protector sister~~ that is _worth_ defining.

 

_She doesn't know._

 

Kara is a living ray of sunlight, all blonde hair and blue eyes- an endless source of joy for everyone who falls into her orbit. 

 

Alex is hard edges and half-mended fractures that throb with a pain she has _forgotten_ how to live without.

 

Kara defies all expectation. She has lost an entire world, and still manages to find reasons to smile genuinely every single day.

 

Alex has lost her father- _and what is one person in the grand scheme of things, in comparison to the loss of an entire planet_ \- and her smile has been brittle and forced ever since.

 

Kara is everything that Alex will never be- never _could_ be- and is strong in ways she cannot fathom. ( _She tries to, anyway._ )

 

When she delves into Kara's mind, sees the life that her sister would rather have- on Krypton, with Alura, with Kal-El, without _Alex_ -

 

_And I need my sister!_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_She finds her answer._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's not the one she expects.

**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever reveal the answer? Probably not.
> 
> I have no regrets.
> 
> Leave a review, house a displaced alien from a dead planet.


End file.
